On Worth and Timing

Hello!

I’ve been on the job hunt this past month which means I’ve also been on the verge of collapse.

Jk, but I have been thinking a lot about money. More than usual anyway. If we’re being honest, I can’t remember a stretch of time in my life when I felt financially stable. Like many millennials with boomer parents, we were told if we worked hard and got a college degree, we’d land a job. Sadly, that stopped being true after like, 2001 but I guess my parents never really reassessed things. This leads me to my current sitch where I’ve worked countless temporary jobs, unpaid internships, got a master’s degree that led to nowhere, and continue to somehow miss the mark.

I had a conversation with a good friend a few weeks ago about timing. How some people are “born under unlucky stars.” I think this is true, but like the complex world of astrology, I think it can refer to different things. For instance, I have my health, I found a great partner, and I have wonderful friends. Could it be I was born under unlucky stars but just professionally? Did my stars have a bad work-life balance?? It’s interesting to consider that some of this could be out of our control. Is it even possible for me to correct my life’s trajectory?

Applying for jobs is kind of weird when you break it down. It’s dehumanizing, first of all. You’re basically sending in a request letter for a role someone made up to do tasks only deemed necessary by a society that is also made up. In some cases, you’re asked to put down a salary requirement which is essentially stating what you think your skills are worth. Then that has to be matched by the employer or it all starts to suck immediately. The people you talk to are actually extremely uninterested in you as a person and are just looking to use your skills “if deemed a good fit.” Everything is role play and not the fun kind.

This is all to say, if you’re in a similar situation, it’s not you. It could be timing or really just the universe playing a big trick. You’re worth more than a number, large or small. It’s all fake!!!

Thanks for reading,

Elizabeth